No Particular Title

I like the little toilet stalls at the office and at the hostel. They seem to make me feel safe. If it is loud outside, the noise can cover up the sound I make too.

For the past few days I have been crying again. On my way home from work, I did not want to ride straight back to where I stay. I wandered around for a while, but there was nowhere to go, so I went back and sat in the bathroom for a bit. And now I cannot stop crying again.

My chest hurts a little. Have I not been sleeping enough these past few days? But I cannot sleep, and I don’t want to sleep. I wish there were no more pain, whether I stay alive or leave.

I’m a little tired, God. Can you hear me? I seem able only to imagine that you cannot, because I don’t think I will see your answer. But I can only speak to you, or to myself. I am so sad. I think telling someone else would only make me cry harder; they would not know what to do, and it would not change anything. So I can only speak to you. I’m sorry that all you can hear is me crying.